Nick Swisher is a god.

I haven't updated this thing in a while because ever since baseball season began, I've been too busy screaming at my television in immense anger because the Yankees have been blowing goats. A-Rod and Tex are hurt. Awesome. Wang can't pitch more than 3 innings in a game without giving up at least 7 runs. Stupendous. Matsui is batting around .100, Ransom is below .100, and Jeter and Damon (among others) are teetering in the low .200s. Fucking great.

However, there is one player who is holding me back from committing genocide on the world. That person is Nick Swisher. Swisher, if you don't know, was the Yankees first offseason acquisition. He was originally penciled in as the Yankees starting 1B, but he got demoted a utility outfielder after the big money signing of Mark Teixiera.

Swisher didn't start the first two games of the season. He started the third, and absolutely dominated. They have kept him in the lineup since then, and apparently he's the only one who remembers how to hit a baseball. He has 3 HR and 10 RBIs thus far. Oh, and get this. HE CAN PITCH. Not great, mind you, but on Monday he pitched a scoreless 8th inning as the Yankees got whooped by the Rays. HE WAS THE ONLY YANKEE PITCHER TO NOT ALLOW A RUN IN THE GAME. AND HE'S NOT A PITCHER. He actually recorded a strikeout as well.

Not only is Swisher dominating on the field, he's also a laid back guy, something that you don't see too much of in the uptight Yankee world. His attitude is a much needed change to the way the club has been run the last half decade.

If Obama decides to give all of the bailout money to Nick Swisher, I would not be displeased. I just want to party with him.

Bruno movie red band trailer.

This is the Red Band trailer for the upcoming Bruno movie. For those of you who don't know, Bruno is a character played by Sacha Baren Cohen, the same guy who does Borat and Ali G. Red Band trailers are usually 2+ minutes and are completely uncensored.

I'll let the trailer speak for itself, but I will say this: I cannot believe Cohen wasn't killed making this movie. We aren't talking about Balls of Steel with Bruno, we are talking an entire skeleton made of adamantium (just like Wolverine. I linked them together. I'm so clever.) Just watch the trailer.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine Workprint DVD leaked

I'm sure this is old news by now, as this happened two days ago. The movie X-Men origins: Wolverine was leaked onto the internet a month early. Now, it's just a workprint. This means it's a rough copy of the movie and NOT the one headed into theaters on May 1st. This copy isn't edited. Some scenes still have CGI characters in it instead of the actor supposed to be pasted over the character. There are also several other things in the incompleted scenes that will annoy someone looking to see the full version.

I watched it right after it was leaked and I really enjoyed it despite it's incompleteness. It's going to be a fantastic movie once all of the special effects are finally in place. This copy still had many completed scenes and the storyline is amazing. A bunch of plot twists. It sets up all of the other X-Men movies. It's also great to see all of the new mutants that weren't in the older movies (Gambit, Silver Fox, Emma Frost, Agent Zero, Deadpool, etc.)

Yeah, I'm kind of a dork when it comes to this stuff. I never read the comics, but I enjoyed all of the X-Men movies, including X3 which was panned by everyone else. If I was a mutant, my power would be to make my dong grow by the yard. Then I'd slap everyone around with it. Mushroom Tattoo Artist. Best mutant ever. Someone write a script for this NOW.